Lice-means TO PANIC!

Today I thought I had lice.

Is that really so farfetched? An army of insects inhabiting the head of 17 year old boy from out of nowhere? I was so scared that my scalp had become some home to hundreds little creatures without my consent! Okay, let me back up some hours ago.

To the morning.

This morning I woke up at 1:30 AM and I was REALLY itchy! So itchy, in fact, that I could not fall back asleep. I tried my best to knock myself out, but I just kept on scratching away. I was so frustrated that I went to the living room to watch some TV hoping a glowing box will lull my mind to slumber. Fun fact, nothing is on in the middle of the night.

After about 10 minutes of Attack of the Show, my cravings finally ceased and I fell back asleep on the couch.

3:00 AM comes around and BAM! Another itch attack! If I had to use a cliche at that time, I’d probably go with “This is getting REALLY old, REALLY quickly!”. That’s a cliche, right? Well anyway, I tried TV again but I was too tired to force my attention spans awake, so I stumbled into the kitchen and took some aspirin. That seemed to do the trick (yay cliche) and I was able to sleep until 10:30 AM!

But I was far from content. The hours passed throughout the day and I grew incredibly annoyed. I’m not sure what I was annoyed at, but I was just pissed. Like, I was pissed at _____. That’s the worse kinda piss because it has no object! It’s just a stand alone piss!! (Hah, that would also sound funny out of context.) I think a big cause of this was because I had a Nguyen-sized migraine due to my weird sleeping.

After lunch, I had a crazy idea: what if I had lice? I mean, last night (or this morning I guess), I was so itchy, sleep was impossible! I went on the good ol’ internet to see the symptoms of lice. “Itching on the scalp, the back of the neck, and behind the ears is common”. THAT’S EXACTLY WHERE I WAS SCRATCHING! I was so freaked out. Now, not only was I annoyed at nothing, but I was also incredibly depressed! HOW COULD I GET LICE?! What do I do now?! Will I be able to see my friends?! Have I infected my family?! WILL MY BRAIN DETERIORATE?!

Okay that last one I never really thought about.

I kept going into the bathroom, trying to zoom in closely to my hair in an attempt to find any white beads crawling through the jungle of wires that is my head. I even took a picture of my scalp with my camera (using macro, of course), but there weren’t really any positive results. Well, “positive results”, as in “LICE LIVE results”. Still, I was worried.

I thought through my situation many times over. Itching means lice… Or it could just be bug bites… but I was itchy on my neck, that’s where lice live… although I didn’t wear any hats or come into contact with heads recently… it could take weeks for lice to hatch out of their eggs… but I still hadn’t head-mingled in a few months… whatever, I have lice… I can’t have lice!

After my night shower, I had my mom check my hair for lice. Yes, she gave me a funny look, but she checked anyway. Conclusion? I don’t have lice. I made her peer through my hair for maybe 15 seconds and the results were negative (geez, sounds like a pregnancy test). My dad confirmed it was probably just bug bites.

But I’m clean!

This whole dilemma really got me thinking though… if I had lice, how would I have posted such a story on my Kanga? Do I just start a post that says “Hey guys, guess what; I HAVE LICE!”, because quite frankly, I would not want to share that with the entire world (assuming the entire world reads this stuff). Yet, I would still WANT to say something about it because it would play such a big part in my life, believe it or not.

And that’s another thing, what if something really bad, something REALLY HORRIBLE happened to me? Do I talk about it here?? Do I tell you guys all about how I’m as depressed as a parachuting zebra falling into a crocodile pit??? I always thought my Kanga was different because it seemed to shun out any stupid worries or frivilous problems that many other blog-like sites possess. No matter the ordeal, I would try to incorporate some kind of positive spin. I dont’ want people getting sad when they read my thoughts. But what if I’m the one in trouble and there’s no way of avoiding it when I type these posts? Would that mess up the idea of my Kanga being a vacation from the ridiculous?? What would I do in such a situation???