Failed Blog – Names

Things need more tertiary titles. I tried to write one for this post with something like “Failed Blog: 1 of 2: Names”, but it looks too confusing. I guess that’s why there are never titles with tertiary parts.

Tertiary Tertiary Tertiary. Yeah fun to say.

So this is part of a behind the scenes special about my website, part uno of dos. There was a cornucopia of possible names for my site before I settled with “Kevin Approved”, and now you shall discover what those names were! (“Cornucopia” reminds me of Even Stevens.) I’d like to welcome you to The World of Might-Have-Been!!..

Considered Names for this website (and my reasons for not using them):

(These are all real, by the way, I wrote them down in my sketchbook. DUDE I sorta want to make a fake list now! Meh, I won’t though.) (Is it bad to use 2 or parentheses’d statements in a row? Is it akin to double posting on a forum?)

1. Biff Pow Klam

Alright! Sounds superhero-y! Good stuff! But not really. It sounds a little TOO superhero-y, which doesn’t really work when there’s not much superhero stuff here.

2. Adventure Klam

This sounds like a bizarre aquatic theme park water park, or some kids’ cartoon. I just liked the word “adventure”! Cuz I like to go on them! But if it were a bizarre water park, it would probably be better than Soak City. Hey, my bath tub’s drain is more exciting than Soak City – amiright?!

3. Klam

Get it? Cuz my name is KevinLAM. So KLAM… yeah I could never get used to calling my personal website “Klam”. Saying it sounds kinda dumb.

Wow, completely sidetracking, I just Google’d the difference between a clam and other things that are almost clams. I would now like to share my findings with you:

Clams: Wide-ish, light in color, good in soup, they move with a freakin’ mini-foot-hook.
Mussels: Long and oblongy, attaches to stuff in the tide.
Oysters: Pretty much a mussel that has more fat, the lamest of this bunch.
Scallops: They move with a freakin’ mini-jet-muscle, prettier than clams.

BAM knowledge ambush. And now back to the name thing.

4. That’s New

I liked this title because it’s a phrase that people occasionally say, and it made the site seem like a blog full of cool, cutting edge articles or something! But in reality this place doesn’t have a whole lotta “new” stuff. I didn’t know what Jersey Shore was about until yesterday (I found out it’s a show about douchey guys and douchey girls living together and acting douchey. Like The Hills douchefied).

5. Let’s Draw

When I thought of this, I could’ve sworn it sounded awesome. “It shows that I’m an artist AND that I like to draw!”. The very next day I laughed at it, realizing it sounded like a toddler’s television show that got cancelled for being too simplistic. Let’s not.

6. Project K

This is one of those titles that is DECEIVINGLY cool. Anytime you have “project” in the name, it gives the impression of “hey, it’s so new (and a little secret too!) that they don’t have an official name for whatever-it-is! ooOOOooo!”. So “project” only works as a name for something if A) The thing is unreleased and will change its name later. B) The thing is so new and radical that it’s like an experiment to see if the public will accept it. C) It’s an actual school project. If it’s not any of those, then there is NO REASON for putting “project” in the name. It’s the lazy-man’s way to have something sound cool, just like buzz-cuts are the lazy-man’s way to make a videogame character look cool. I’m looking at you, Infamous and Mass Effect and fifty other games…

7. Kevin Approved

I chose this name because… well… it sounded the best. It has a positive ring, doesn’t it? Or is that just me? I think it was cool enough to make sense and random enough to not make any.

Tune in next time when we explore the different layouts of Kevin Approved in… The World of Might-Have-Been!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! part two.