-Not a teacher. I painted this last semester with ink wash. SPEAKING OF WHICH, I’ve updated the “creations page” so it’s awesomer.
Hey, yeah, so, that thing called school? It sucks……… up my time. I’ve been meaning to post a post for a while now, but because of all this school, work, and school work, it keeps getting, dare I say, postponed. So here I am at work, finding time to type something up on my spare time between uploading videos for teachers and taping toothpicks together for a 3Design project.
First impressions are everything. (Except last impressions. First impressions are not last impressions.) They’re the only way to qualify a person once you initially meet them, if that makes any sense. So let’s see how my teachers did this semester!
Teacher first impressions:
Andrew Dickson (3D painting)
-He looks like he should be a character from LOST; his appearance is average enough to be a regular person, but interesting enough to stand out just a tad bit. All he needs now is a troubled life due to psychotic parents and he’s a sure-fire cast member. He also wore the same jacket (complete with one side chest pocket thing) for almost all of the four days that I saw him – let’s hope it doesn’t turn into another Delgado syndrome, ifyouknowwhatimean.
“Is that Andrew over there?!” Sayid is taken aback!
Robert Emry (OralComm)
-Imagine Adam West. Imagine him as Batman. Now imagine his sidekick Robin. Imagine Robin around 60 years old. THAT is my Oral Comm teacher. He has a fairly small build, Robin-y hair, and a sort of young-sounding voice. As for the quality of his teacher-ness (aka the relevant stuff)… he’s pretty cool.
“Golly gee, Batman, you really think I’d be a good oral communications teacher?”
Gary Kleiban (Physics 211 Lab)
-Yknow how sorta-big bald white guys are always a hybrid of Mr. Clean and Vin Diesel? Well that’s pretty much Gary Kleiban. And honestly, he REALLY doesn’t look like either baldies at all, but he still reminds me of them.
Physics? More like bowelology.
David Gunn (Physics 211)
-This fellow really reminded me of Mr. Raabe, my 7th grade English teacher. He has the same voice (just less grumpier). He also has a stache instead of a beard, his jokes are actually funny, and he looks a lot less intimidating and Jewish. In fact, his round nose almost made me compare him with Super Mario, but he did not sound Italian at all.
Note: I decline to have a picture of Mr. Raabe on my website because that would feel very weird, so here’s a Google search I did on his name. I wish he were like this.
Bryan Cantley (3D Design)
-This is the notoriously difficult class where most people get C’s and many people drop. And that’s a little scary. But in the wise words of Barney Stinson, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. And since I couldn’t compare Bryan with anyone, I’ll take Whitney’s interpretation of him as Qui-Gon Jinn.
“Assignment #1, class: build me a lightsaber.”
So this semester I got LOST guy, old 1960’s Robin, Vin Diesel, Raabe the english teacher / German singer, and Qui-Gon Jinn. Daaaang could you imagine a movie with all these guys?! If not, I shall help.
Early Screenplay of movie with said actors:
Scene opens, all we see is an eye lid. Eye opens, pupil constricts. Zoom out to reveal LOST guy on the jungle ground, disorientated and, well, lost. He sits up and looks around. Vin Diesel comes slicing through with a machete. He looks at LOST.
Vin: Dammit. We found another one.
LOST: What’s… what’s happening? What’s going on?
Vin: You don’t wanna know.
Qui-gon comes in and kneels next to LOST.
Qui-gon: Are you okay?
LOST: Yeah, I think I’m alright.
Qui-gon looks down and notices a huge flesh wound in his stomach.
Qui-gon: Stay still.
Qui-gon’s lightsaber: SSZZHHEEWWW
Qui-gon cauterizes LOST’s wound.
LOST: AAHHHH THAT WAS A BIRTH MARK, NOT A FLESH WOUND!!
Qui-gon: (waves hand over LOST’s face) It is a flesh wound.
LOST: It is a flesh wound…
Qui-gon: You’re going to be okay. (Looks up) Vin, what do you see.
Vin: I see a whole lotta sh*t heading our way.
Cut to German singer Raabe running toward them.
Raabe: “Ich werde das Mikrofon in den Po-Stick so weit, dass Sie werden von Ihrer Nase blutet!!!”
Vin: DAMN NAZI!!
Vin hops into a totally sweet ride and speeds towards Raabe. He sticks his head out the car window, for his smooth bald head adds to the aerodynamics. Epic battle between Vin and Raabe.
Qui-gon: I have a bad feeling about this.
LOST: What the hell is happening?!
Qui-gon: You shall find out soon enough, padawan.
LOST: Really? So you’re gonna tell me why some bald guy with a machete is fighting some German guy with a microphone? I won’t have to wait for, like, five seasons for my questions to be answered?
Qui-gon: Yes. In fact I’ll answer you right now. To sum this whole thing up in one sentence,–
Qui-gon’s speech is cut off. Zooming out from his face, it is revealed that Raabe has stabbed a hole straight through Qui-gon’s chest with his microphone.
Qui-gon: This… seems… vaguely familiar… (He expires.)
Raabe: (smirk) Holy moly. Verstanden???
LOST: Hey that phrase that sounds familiar…
Vin: I don’t care! I HATE PUNS!!!!!
More epic battle stuff, this time while skydiving.
LOST: Where have I heard that line before?
Disembodied voice: Which line?
LOST: “Holy moly”… (LOST slowly turns around)
Disembodied voice: Don’t you mean “holy moly… Batman?” MAUAHAHAHAH!
Cut to Robin smiling and laughing menacingly. He is holding a Skullfrog with a riddle on its forehead. Cut back to LOST with a terrified look on his face. Hold for 5 seconds, play building violins. Then black. Flash title on the screen. End scene.
So all in all, though, my teachers seem like really good guys. Now I just gotta remember their names – here’s to hoping I don’t call him Vin Diesel.